denouemeant

00:01 December 25, 2018 Just another Christmas, the nineteenth one I've witnessed. And here I am, trying to come up with an impressive statement. I've forgotten what I have been wanting to write once again. In our current household of seven family members, all three grown-ups have been asleep for hours. I and my siblings are meanwhile keeping our unhealthy sleeping habits. It is weird to think that this is the first Christmas eve we did not spend in church (that I can remember). ah I've run out of things to say again hmm i think i wanted to come up with a plan to make myself stop being worthless and useless (for the 3983902th time). i'd have a better chance of success if i lie down right this minute but my hair's still wet from my late-night shower gosh Sunnee's handsome. she and Byul are too similar i dieee

i hate this. when im experiencing the thing it's almost all-consuming but every time i try to sit down and think about it it's all gone. i didn't even do anything to trigger (??) it. one minute i was imagining my sorta semi kinda crush showing up to our house for some reason and the next minute im wishing my mother had me aborted gahhhh. make it make sense lol

i'm listening to Oh my Girl's Closer as i type this wild to think that for most other people???? it's gotten even harder to type up my thoughts. it's messed up. im messed up and i don't even know how to tell and also i don't have anyone to tell? im all question marks??? maybe i should write the short story and the creative nonfiction now

August 29, 2018. What kind of blog is this? Will this be a diary-type thing? Will there be prose and poetry? Will there be pretty pictures? Who knows? Certainly not me. Even the title is temporary so uhh let's see ((successful poetry reading today??? heck)) maybe i'll even re-learn CSS just to make this pretty